When the Living God Breathes

Have you ever carried a dream for so long that is started to seem like an impossibility? I’ve been thinking about this because not too long ago a new friend asked me, “What have you been dreaming about?” The question landed on me in an unexpected way. I gave an answer, but it wasn’t really an answer. You know what I mean? I took that question to my next conversation with God because what I realized as I sat with it was that somewhere over the last few years I’ve forgotten how to dream.  A few days later B and I were at dinner with the same friends, and the question came again, this time from someone else at the table.  And over the next several weeks, God kept putting it in front of me over and over again.

As I sat with God and asked the Holy Spirit to speak to me in this area, I realized a few things.  1. I do have dreams, God-given dreams, that were buried. Pushed aside, forgotten, neglected.  2. There’s a difference between a God-dream and a good dream. 3. It’s not selfish to dream. I’m still digging in to these things. But, for now, friends, can we all agree that our God-dreams matter. There’s kingdom purpose deposited in every single one of us. 

Dreams get buried for all kinds of reasons. Maybe we’re just too busy. Maybe we’ve forgotten how to dream because we haven’t been surrounded by the right people. Maybe we push our dreams aside because we’re afraid of disappointment, rejection, or failure, so we bury them in an effort to guard our hearts against the pain of these things. Maybe we’ve carried the weight of unrealized dreams for so long that it seems almost foolish to lean in. Anybody? Yeah, I get it.

But here’s the thing: When the living God breathes in you DEAD THINGS COME BACK TO LIFE.

Read that again and let it sink in.

That’s very essence of this Gospel we preach — we’ve been invited to move from death to life — in all things through Christ Jesus. The power of the Gospel is for the moment of salvation, but it’s for every moment after that, too. When you are in Christ, the same power that raised Him from the dead lives in you. God is awakening some things for this next season in me and in Brian through the power of the Holy Spirit that lives in us.  And, if you belong to Jesus, He lives in you, too; and, He’ll do the same for you.

I love what the MSG paraphrase says in Romans 8. “It stands to reason, doesn’t it, that if the alive-and-present God who raised Jesus from the dead moves into your life, he’ll do the same thing in you that he did in Jesus, bringing you alive to himself? When God lives and breathes in you (and he does, as surely as he did in Jesus), you are delivered from that dead life.”

Can I encourage you today? If you haven’t asked God what dreams He has for you, ask Him. If you’ve forgotten how to dream, ask the Holy Spirit to teach you how. If you need God to breathe on some things in your life and awaken some things in your life, invite Him to do that. There is purpose (kingdom-purpose) assigned to your life. God wants to use YOU to point people to Jesus. Be brave. Lean in.  Imagine what might happen if we all did that?

Valentine’s Day? I’d Rather Not.

Valentine’s Day?  I’d Rather Not.

Grief changes everything. Take Valentine's Day, for example. Chocolate candies, fresh flowers, sweet greeting cards, and candlelight dinners for two seem harmless enough. Who wouldn't want to celebrate love and romance, after all? But for grievers, holidays are challenging and, well, just hard. Maybe you can relate? Or, perhaps someone close to you can? 

Let's meet Sandra and James. Today, I want to tell you their story. 

Sandra was grieving her momma's death and sorting through a string of disappointments and heartache in an attempt to find someone, anyone, with whom to share her life. She was wrecked, exhausted by grief, and hanging on by a thread when James came along. Despite having decided she'd take a break from dating, she agreed to dinner and a movie with James. He was polite and kind, but Sandra was mostly unimpressed. She was unimpressed at least until realizing she actually missed him during the week following their date. After one more date, curiosity replaced disinterest. She found James to be kind, tender-hearted, and always giving of himself. He was carefully attentive to her heart. The romance and engagement were a bit of a whirlwind, but they just knew. They fit, and no one could argue! Because of James, Sandra finally understood what it meant to be fully and wholly loved, brokenness and all. This love was a once-in-a-lifetime kind of love -- a gift from God, a treasure. 

But the story takes a sudden and unwanted twist two years after they were married. One morning, Sandra woke as James, lying next to her, suffered a massive heart attack. He died at the hospital. Sorrow landed on her with indescribable, heart-wrenching pain. And, so Sandra finds herself grieving on days when she should be celebrating. 

Today, Sandra bravely shared her heart with me in a conversation about love, loss, and moving through grief. Why? Because she hopes her story can offer a shred of hope to other grievers. 

Q: Do you find holidays like Valentine's Day particularly hard? Why or why not?

Sandra: I think holidays and memorable dates (anniversaries) are hard, although I don't always realize the impact until I'm in the moment or until after the day has passed. I feel like I have to work hard not to ruin other people's holidays/major events because I'm grieving. I work through significant dates by taking each moment, each day, each week, and leaning on God. 

Q: What are things other people do that you find most helpful when your grief swells up? What do you wish people wouldn't do?

Sandra: To be honest, support comes in different ways. I want friends and family to check on me; but, I also need them to understand when I need space. Don't avoid the topic. That doesn't make it hurt less. It's more helpful to the healing process when I'm able to talk about it if I need to. Let me feel my emotions and pain without trying to talk me out of it by saying things like, "James wouldn't want you to feel this way" or "You should be over this by now." Unsolicited advice and opinions are more hurtful than helpful. When people tell you where you should be in the process, that's hurtful. Sometimes support is just your presence (even if you're silent).

Q: What are some other things that have helped along the way? 

Sandra: In grief, it's hard to sort out what's real and what's not real. So, find an anchor. For me, it was God, my family, and the people in my church. I have friends who've experienced loss and understand it. So, they were able to help me when I needed it most. Also, finding a Christian counselor was important. When you bury a loved one, you bury hopes and dreams along with him or her, all the plans you've made. It's loss in a lot of different ways. I also have to pay attention to how my body is responding. Sometimes, I need more sleep, so I sleep, for example. 

Q: What might you say to someone else who is just starting their grief journey? What would you want them to know? 

Sandra: This is your journey and process, and people may not understand your pain and heartache. They may not be familiar with the longing left in your heart after such loss. People can't hear the conversations and see the moments you replay in your mind as you process a new reality. Grieve at your own pace. Most importantly, losing someone you love isn't something you GET OVER or forget. You move forward. Sometimes it doesn't hurt as bad, and other times the pain is as raw as the first day. Some days you feel like you're making progress, but then something takes you back. Those moments are not setbacks, but they are part of the process. Don't be afraid to set healthy boundaries for yourself. Seek counseling, accept help, and take your time grieving. God's everlasting love will bring healing and redemption. Just keep going.

There it is, friends. Just keep going. Healing is hard work, but there is hope. Sandra is living proof. Give yourself space and the grace to grieve. It’s okay. You’re going to be okay. You are not alone. 

James + Sandra on their wedding day, April 2011. James passed away in June 2013.

What's the Big Deal About Birthdays?

I can't help myself. I always make a big fuss around my birthday. I love my birthday. I love birthdays in general, but I digress. For a few weeks leading up to the date, I have fun reminding everyone around me, "It's almost my birthday!" Yeah, I'm that girl. It's funny and ridiculous, but my people love me anyway! And, yes, I know it's probably annoying someone, but that doesn't matter to me. Here's why.

I make a big deal about my birthday because I survived. No, wait. I overcame. I'm here--alive, well, and amazed at the faithfulness of God.

What exactly did I survive? All the hard things. My life has not been rainbows and unicorns all over the place. My story is full of good things, for sure. But, it's also full of hard things, tragedy and trauma included. Oh, and loss, there's been a tremendous amount of loss. Don't we all have those moments in our story that mark us? We are one way before these moments and another way after. Life looks one way before and an entirely different way after. Disappointment is heavy to carry.

For the longest time, I held those moments close to my heart and refused to heal. But somewhere along the way, I loosened my grip and invited God to mend my heart and mind. Here's what I know: I would not be here apart from the power of His unfailing love and kindness toward me.

So, when my birthday rolls around, I remember and celebrate. On purpose. God saved my life and redeemed all the hard things. And, friends, if God can reach down and mend the brokenness in my life, He can do the same for you, for anyone. Nothing, absolutely nothing, is beyond His reach. For every hard and impossible circumstance, there is the unfailing love of an ever-present Savior. I don't want to forget to remember. He has filled my life with greater joy. I'm glad that I get to be alive and that I belong to Him. I mattered to Him enough that He stepped into the brokenness and messiness and rescued me. And, you matter too.

{Five Minute Friday | Loved}

It's Five Minute Friday. That means unplanned, unedited, straight-from-the-heart-to-the-paper writing. Yep, you just write whatever comes out based on a word you're given. If you have five minutes, you should give it a try!  Find out how here.

This week the prompt is {LOVED}.

Ready? Go.

I'm sitting here in a hotel lobby just thinking. We have a big, hard day ahead of us and I'm feeling...well, I cannot quite wrap my words around it just yet.

But that's ok.  Why? It's ok because I am loved. 

I am loved by the Creator of the Universe -- the God in whom all things hold together. And, that's what He's doing for me in this moment, holding everything together. That's what He always does, after all. That reality is enough to take my breath away and fill my heart with gratitude. He loves us with lavish, reckless, unfailing love. And because of that, we can live our lives loving others well.

My Papaw did that, you know. He loved others well. He was kind and generous. Always. He was also honest. Sometimes, he loved you well by telling you a hard truth. I appreciated that about him. I am thankful for his life, one that was well-lived. Yeah, he lived well because he loved well. That's the kind of girl I want to be. Because here's the thing: when you belong to Jesus, that's what you do. You love others well. You love others BIG. Because that's how you've been loved. Jesus changes everything. His love compels. That's the story I want my life to tell. 

Stop. 

{Five Minute Friday | Done}

It's Five Minute Friday. That means unplanned, unedited, straight-from-the-heart-to-the-paper writing. Yep, you just write whatever comes out based on a word you're given. If you have five minutes, you should give it a try!  Find out how here.

This week the prompt is {DONE}.

Ready? Go.

Done. That word has a nice ring to it when I’m blasting through my to-do list like a girl on a mission. Confession: I love the feeling of checking the box. I can’t be the only one who gets overly excited when I check a box, any box. Anybody else? I’m a list maker. A box checker. A paper-calendar keeper. Oh, and a rule follower to boot. Yeah, I want things to get done and get them done well (really well) and on time.  Yet, there are days, even in all my striving, that things get missed and left undone. I’m just a girl. I’m just a girl with days crammed to the brim with all the things. You know what I mean? 

It’s not like that when the Lord goes to work, though, is it? When He does something, it gets done all the way and perfectly. He doesn’t miss a thing. Ever. 

He does the thing, and He declares it finished. And, it is. That’s what He said before He took His last breath, you know. “It is finished.” What Jesus accomplished for us at that moment changes everything. We can rest in the power of that truth. And, hope abounds. It. Is. Finished. All the way. For all time. What He’s finished cannot be undone. 

Stop.