{Five Minute Friday | Abandon}
It's Five Minute Friday. That means unplanned, unedited, straight-from-the-heart-to-the-paper writing. Yep, you just write whatever comes out based on a word you're given. If you have five minutes, you should give it a try! Find out how here.
This week the prompt is {ABANDON}.
Ready? GO.
After Hailey died, I would not go back to the apartment. I just couldn't. The nursery area was set up and ready; all the beautiful, tiny baby girl clothes were tucked neatly in the wardrobe. But, Hailey wouldn't be coming home with me, and I didn't want to walk back into a something that reminded me of her death and reinforced the pain. I was terribly angry with God. I begged and pleaded with Him for months to save her, heal her tiny heart. I reasoned with Him that because I'd already suffered the loss of my baby son, He owed me this. Never mind how messed up that was! I know. (That's a story for another day.) When He didn't come through for me, it sent me into a spiritual tailspin. I felt abandoned. Lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, the feeling settled deep into my soul. One minute I would weep bitterly and the next I would be filled with a kind of quiet rage. But God saved me. He reached down into the dark pit and pulled me out into the light. His light.
Guess what I was failing to realize during my time in the pit? That truth is always truth despite my feelings. I felt abandoned. But the truth found in Scripture says He never leaves us or forsakes us. I felt as if He'd turned His back on me and was unconcerned with my heartbreak. The truth is He would stop at nothing to heal the brokenness in my soul and heart. I know that now. I believe it.
That's what faith does. Faith always declares the truth in the face of insurmountable circumstance. In those weeks and months following that loss, I failed to let my faith go to work and instead let my feelings determine what I believed to be true. Here's the thing: What God says about any given situation matters infinitely more than what I think about it.
The truth won in my heart and life. God never abandons us. Instead, He pursues us, draws us close to His heart. May I encourage you today, sweet friends? God knows precisely where you are, and He knows even the tiniest detail of your situation. Look for Him. Listen for Him. You are sure to find Him.
STOP.
