{Church Girl Funk | Yeah. It happens.}

Can you imagine having actually walked with Jesus -- for real, dirt between your toes and robes flapping in the wind, walked with Him?  What must it have been like to feel His hand, His actual God-made-flesh hand on your shoulder? I wonder what his voice sounded like? And to hear Him call your name aloud? I can't even. So, let's just move on. God in His wisdom saw fit for me to be here. Now. And, I'm good with that. I suppose I had the best-case-scenario as kid. See, I'm a church girl. I grew up as a pastor's kid, so from a young age I was taught about God. I knew about Jesus and the Gospel. The importance of Scripture was ingrained in me from a young age. (Anyone else get a tiny New Testament/Psalms Bible when you were but a wee newborn?) We went to church every time the doors were open, at least three times each week. I learned to memorize Scripture, sing worship tunes, to work hard serving others and the church. I knew all the rules. And, for the most part, I kept them religiously. Church girl. To the core. The gratitude I feel for my best-case-scenario knows no bounds. Truly, I am grateful. Here's the thing: Sometimes, it seems my inner church girl is at a disadvantage. Let's be real, the privilege of hearing the Gospel Sunday after Sunday means that my exposure to the story was through the roof. The familiarity of the story meant reciting it was as easy and natural as breathing. Some Sundays, though, hearing it again felt like trudging through deep, thick mud. And, then, I'd be stuck. In a funk.

Ah, yes. The church girl funk. It goes something like this:

I've heard the story a million times. Do I really need to study Scripture every day? I've sang the song hundreds of times, hands raised to the sky, eyes closed. Do I really need to engage my mind and think about the weight of what I'm singing? I'm a Christ follower. I believe the Gospel. I go to church. I try to be obedient. I serve others. Look at all the things I'm doing for Him. 

It's all familiar. And, when I'm in a church girl funk, I find that I am unaffected by it all. Unmotivated. Unaware. Head down. Shuffling along. Going through the motions. Anyone else?

Thank heavens, God sees me in those moments and comes after me. He reminds me. He engraves the truth ever deeper into my heart. He loves me. And, He wants me to love Him. Jesus tells us, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind." (Matthew 22:37) All my fellow church girls know it's the great commandment. Love Him. Completely.

We can love Him like that because He loved. We rest in the truth that He loved us before we took our first breath. He sent Jesus to live a sinless life, die a sinner's death as payment for my sin and your sin because of His great love. Why? So that we could know Him and know the depth of His love for us. I don't know about you, but when I stop and leave space in my day to remember,  I am completely in awe. What lavish love! It's from that place (being loved) that He wants us to love Him back, with all we've got.

Yes. I know. You've heard it all before. But can we hear it again with fresh ears and a soft heart? Can we sit still with the truth for a hot minute and allow ourselves to be utterly blown away by His love for us? The Creator of the Universe loves you with an unfailing, unfathomable love. We belong to Him. Let that truth frame everything else.

See, I learned the hard way that it doesn't matter what we do for Him if our hearts aren't motivated by our love for Him. He didn't tell us "If you want to be a good church girl, obey me, serve me, work for me." No. He said, "If you love me, obey me."

If you find yourself in a church girl funk, start there. Love Him completely and then let everything else be a demonstration of that love. But above all, be loved by Him. And to do that, sweet friends, you don't have to do anything at all. It's already done. Just breathe it in. He. Loves. You.

Now, go. Go and do the things He's put in front of you to do. Love the person that He's asking you to love even if they are completely impossible. Lay down the thing He's asking you to lay down. And know that He has you in the palm of His hand, loving you wildly every moment along the way.